I refused to whip out my old ways; the ink, the paper, the feminine mystique, and the isolated pointless detail. I avoided the stylistic approach I was neck-deep into. I tried taking their charcoal and their graphite, their paper cutting, their woodwork and I did the assignments and exercises as someone would in an extremely proper erudite endeavor... According to all the rules and guidelines.
I lost my flame and my passion that way.
Then I realized that thing that everyone is supposed to. The teachers and the curriculum can only do so much. The rest is one's prerogative.
So I pulled my Jenna-ness out of my pocket; the sci-fi, the steampunk, the fantasy, the concept art, the videogames, the anime, the gnarled skinny beauties struggling with adolescent anxiety and sexual identity... All that with a healthy dose of openness to mediums I was not used to.
It all proved a great act on instinct. My teachers noticed the shift of dynamic. My drawing teacher Ryan Pierce never failed to let me know, after every critique of a project, that he noticed the change and was excited. He said that I inspired others. I wonder if I really did.
I'm proud of how I accomplished that and how I chose my own course. I made a necessary turn in a river of redundance. Then again it felt so natural and effortless, maybe I don't really deserve any credit.
Whatever.
I'm back in Manila for the holidays. I've been reintroducing myself to overwhelming social encounters, loud noise, packed clubs, alcohol, and rough herb. My tolerance for booze dropped in pathetic proportions due to how I'm still considered underage in the States. I feel the toll when I go out drinking with my friends here.
The humidity and heat make me feel heavy and nauseated.
The neurosis that clings on ennui makes me uneasy...
Many things have changed in so few months, but a lot has stayed the same.
The love between me and my friends is still there, that's for sure.









--
I draw, I write, Make things in 3D and Take Pictures but the title of "Artist" is only given to those who publish, sell or work on projects which others will enjoy. I'm not an artist just yet.
--
Kill a man on the day that his life seems sweetest to him.
--
I draw, I write, Make things in 3D and Take Pictures but the title of "Artist" is only given to those who publish, sell or work on projects which others will enjoy. I'm not an artist just yet.
--
I'm not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.
www dot jbeudela dot com
You're work is amazing, you're on my watch list now too!
--
My Photoblog
--
...gnorw si thgir dna thgir si gnorW
Got any clue?
I've updated my deviant at [link]
it doesn't have much though but I'll be using that not the old one anymore
Cyrus
--
~ako ay may lobo...
From what world though?
--
Kill a man on the day that his life seems sweetest to him.
--
~ako ay may lobo...
Previous Page12345...Next Page